If we are to have deep relationships, we need to learn who we are. We think we know our own hearts, but the truth is that we only know part of our own hearts. We will learn a lot more about ourselves when we connect to the Lord with all of our heart. First we need to understand that God is a tri-part being. Then we need to understand that we were created in His likeness. That means we all have multiple parts to our selves. Let me explain.

We have body soul and spirit making us tri-part beings as well. But just as God is complex, so are we. Our soul consists of mind will and emotions. Those are not one thing but three. The mind is the thinking, functioning part of us that does the basic “doing” of life. The will is the choosing and guarding part of us. It is the part that decides what we should be doing and what is not safe. It guards the heart. The emotion part of us feels the good and bad of life and often encapsulates the negative and holds it for us so that we can carry on and function. That is a very basic simple explanation. We are far more complex than that. However, that explanation will be sufficient for what I want to share with you about relationships.

The scripture teaches us to love others as we love ourselves, Mark 12:31 and Matthew 22:39. Did you know that your capacity to love other people is limited by how much and how you love yourself? How do you develop a loving relationship with your spouse if you hate yourself? The relationship will be limited at best. God wants us to love each other. That is a testimony to others of God’s love in us. Most of us have a low capacity for love because we do not love ourselves.

So how do we learn to love ourselves? That is where the parts of our heart come in. Did you know that the different parts of the heart can communicate? Through that communication a relationship can grow as we connect each part of our heart to Christ and to each other. Some of you will think that is strange, but I am going to ask you to bear with me as I explain. This was strange for me at first as well.

The job of the guardian part of your heart is to protect you from harm. It is also to keep emotion and function separated so that you can keep functioning in difficult circumstances. The guardian part of the heart is the reason that a child can be playing happily after being abused. The guardian part of the heart locks away the trauma separating it from the function part of the heart. The function part then can go about daily business as if nothing happened.

Seek the Lord on this. Try to connect with your guardian part of the heart. Invite that part to join you in fellowship with Christ. Encourage that part of the heart to ask Christ whatever it wants to. Watch and see what Christ will do. He often ministers to this part of the heart visually. As the guardian part of the heart begins to connect with the Lord, it will be strengthened in it’s guarding capability because the Lord wants us to guard against lies that the enemy wants planted there. In time, you can also invite the emotion part of the heart to join function and guardian in their learning fellowship with Christ and each other. God created them for fellowship with Him. As each part learns to love and worship God, something amazing happens. Their joy capacity begins to grow. The depth of human relationship grows as well. You can love your spouse in a deeper way. You can love your children in a deeper way. You can love others and have greater compassion for them.

I have just learned about these parts of the heart needing connection. In the short time I have had with this, my joy capacity has grown exponentially; my ability to worship God with my whole heart has also grown exponentially. I did not know that I was only worshiping God with the function part of my heart. I now worship with my whole heart and am amazed at how deep my relationship with God has gone. I had to get rid of some lies I believed first but God was faithful to help me with that as well.

As you seek a deeper relationship with God, I hope you can use this as a way to connect deeper with your own heart and thus more fully with Christ.